Wait around long enough, and a Trump executive order will likely come rolling out of the White House addressing a pet peeve or what would have been a pet peeve, had one known. In the interest of speeding up the Trumpian reform process, however, herewith are two proposed EO’s, based on close analysis of the extant orders. They are not exhaustive. Readers may have other needed EO’s in mind.
EXECUTIVE ORDER ENDING ILLEGAL EMPLOYEE ANTI-HARASSMENT TRAINING AND RESTORING AMERICAN PRODUCTIVITY.
By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered:
Section 1. Purpose. A bedrock principle of my administration is to make America productive again. Yet every year, America’s hardworking employees are subjected to hours of wasteful anti-harassment and anti-bias training. The only function of this immoral training is to provide employment to the graduates of unlawful women’s and black studies programs. These divisive training sessions presume that Americans are guilty of harassment and bias simply because of their race and sex. No evidence has been presented that America’s managers and workers are denying opportunities to their fellow workers because of prejudice, microaggressions, white privilege, rape culture, heteronormativity, ableism, neurohomogeneity, or the patriarchy. Nevertheless, influential institutions of American society, including the federal government, major corporations, financial institutions, the medical industry, large commercial airlines, law enforcement agencies, and institutions of higher education require stultifying anti-bias and anti-harassment training. American dynamism is put on hold as employees click hopelessly through PowerPoint slides on bystander intervention, definitions of sex discrimination, and options for filing discrimination complaints.
Section 2. Policy. It is the policy of the United States to promote individual initiative, excellence, and hard work. I therefore order all executive departments and agencies, all state governments and agencies, and all private-sector organizations to terminate anti-bias trainings, activities, and guidance. Any state or locality that requires employers to administer such un-American training will lose its federal funding. Any employer that requires its employees to endure such training shall be liable under P.L. 91-596 (Occupational Safety and Health Act); P.L. 75-718 (Fair Labor Standards Act); 5 U.S.C. 8101 et seq. (Federal Employees Compensation Act) (where applicable); Pub. L. 88-352 (Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964); and 25 CFR § 11.404 (False Imprisonment).
Section 3. Severability. If any provision of this order, or the application of any provision to any person or circumstance, is held to be invalid, the remainder of this order and the application of its provisions to any other persons or circumstances shall not be affected thereby.
Sec. 4. General Provisions. (a) Nothing in this order shall be construed to impair or otherwise affect: (i) the authority granted by law to an executive department, agency, or the head thereof; or (ii) the functions of the Director of the Office of Management and Budget relating to budgetary, administrative, or legislative proposals. (b) This order shall be implemented consistent with applicable law. (c) This order is not intended to and does not create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the United States, its departments, agencies, or entities, its officers, employees, or agents, or any other person.
THE WHITE HOUSE, June 1, 2025.
EXECUTIVE ORDER BANNING COVID MASK-WEARERS FROM CRITICAL INFRASTRUCTURE JOBS
By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered:
Section 1. Purpose. It is the goal of this administration to make America reality-based again. Reaction to the Covid pandemic represented one of the worst policy failures in U.S. history. Despite a negligible death risk to individuals under 80 without serious comorbidities, our leaders shut down the economy and schools, inflicting irreversible harm on many children and small businesses. Today, Covid infection rates are at their lowest levels since March 2020. Deaths still uncritically characterized as “from Covid” (rather than “with Covid”) have dropped 83 percent since their 2023 peak. Covid has become indistinguishable from other low-lethality coronaviruses circulating in the population.
Yet some Americans continue to wear surgical masks in public, including outdoors. Even were Covid risks high, masks have little effect on transmission, and it is impossible under any but the most abnormal circumstances to contract an infectious disease outdoors.
Section 2. Policy. America needs leaders and first responders who are in touch with reality and in control of their emotions. Today’s Covid mask-wearers are neither. They may deserve psychiatric help, but they do not deserve to be in positions of authority and responsibility where clear thinking is essential. Accordingly, anyone known to wear a Covid mask in public or private settings shall be barred from the following occupations: air traffic controller, pilot, flight attendant, police officer, and firefighter. In those professions, calm under stress is essential. Mask-wearing demonstrates susceptibility to irrational fear and a likely incapacity to lead in emergencies.
Health-care professionals in close and prolonged contact with seriously ill patients or infectious agents may wear surgical masks without creating a presumption of mental instability. School districts that allow teachers without serious immunological deficiencies to wear masks risk losing federal funding on the ground of educational malpractice. Masked teachers model irrational safetyism that is inimical to American greatness. Institutions of higher education with the lowest percentage of masked faculty, students, and administrators will get priority for federal grants. Mask-wearing during pro-terrorist demonstrations will be included in the mask tally.
Section 3. Severability. If any provision of this order, or the application of any provision to any person or circumstance, is held to be invalid, the remainder of this order and the application of its provisions to any other persons or circumstances shall not be affected thereby.
Sec. 4. General Provisions. (a) Nothing in this order shall be construed to impair or otherwise affect: (i) the authority granted by law to an executive department, agency, or the head thereof; or (ii) the functions of the Director of the Office of Management and Budget relating to budgetary, administrative, or legislative proposals. (b) This order shall be implemented consistent with applicable law. (c) This order is not intended to and does not create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the United States, its departments, agencies, or entities, its officers, employees, or agents, or any other person.
THE WHITE HOUSE, June 1, 2025.
Photo by Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images
