Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving?” (Lk. 10:40)
A friend once described to me what she referred to as her “pre-party personality.” “Pre-party personality” was her euphemism for the brusque and irritable attitude that she would unleash upon her family, all in an effort to make things “perfect” for her guests. Many of us who have experienced the stress of getting ready to host a party can relate to my friend’s predicament, and Martha is no different.
It’s not that Martha is not happy to serve, to welcome, to entertain; it’s just that getting her home ready for Jesus to arrive would have been stressful. And as long as Martha chose to cling to the idea that everything had to be “just right,” she was going to be in a bad mood; she was going to be frustrated and anxious. Such is Martha’s disposition going into the dinner she is hosting for Jesus.
Of course, as stressed and irritable as we can get in preparing our homes for our guests, our “pre-party personality” doesn’t last forever. What normally happens to us once the party has begun?
Oh, don’t worry about the dishes—I’ll get those later!
Please don’t be upset about the spill—we spill things all the time!
Help yourself to whatever you want!
After the guests arrive, suddenly we are not so worried about the appearance of our homes anymore; that part is done, and now we are enjoying everyone’s presence. We have finally relaxed now that all the prep work is over; we are enjoying the food with our guests, laughing, and having a good time. We are just so happy that we have provided an enjoyable evening for our guests.
The problem with Martha is that she never made that switch. She clung to her “pre-party personality” after her party was already underway. Her sister Mary was enjoying the guests—as she should have been—and Martha is still sweeping around everyone’s feet! Martha is angry, irritated, and annoyed with her sister . . . and so she decides to complain to the Lord that it’s not fair!
On the one hand, we can sympathize; perhaps Mary truly did not do her fair share of chores before the party. But on the other hand, if Martha had a grievance with her sister, why not bring it to her attention privately, perhaps in a different room away from the guests? The fact that Martha brings it to the Lord publicly suggests that Martha is so mad, she now seeks to humiliate her sister in front of everyone! Though we understand her frustration, the way she handles her anger and resentment is vindictive and childish.
Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. (Lk. 10:41-42)
The Lord’s answer to Martha would not have been the one that she was expecting. It is now she who is humiliated. But the thing about a humiliation which comes to us from the Lord is that it is not one that stems from a place of vindictive anger or resentment. It comes from a place of love. And so when a humiliation comes to us from the Lord, rather than embarrass and shame us, it has a much different effect on our souls. It humbles us.
Martha, whose heart Jesus understands, has been touched by the Lord’s words. Her heart has been pierced, and in that moment, she has grown—soared—in holiness. How do we know this? Because of the very next interaction Martha has with Jesus, one that takes place later, after her brother Lazarus has died:
I have come to believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world. (Jn. 11:27)
Martha is one of just two of Jesus’ followers recorded in the Gospels who can accurately identify Jesus as the Son of God, even before His Passion and Resurrection. Where else have we seen this occur?
He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter said in reply, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” (Mt. 16:15-16)
Martha, friend of Jesus, but no more special than the others—in fact, arguably less spiritually mature than her sister—has declared the same testimony as the man who would become leader of Christ’s Church. Unbelievably, she understands and believes a truth that Jesus has not told her, nor is one that years of study could have provided her. How does she arrive at such an extraordinary conclusion? In the same way that Peter had:
Jesus said to him in reply, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father.” (Mt. 16:17)
Martha has been infused with divine knowledge of the mysteries of the kingdom by God Himself. And she, like Peter, is now blessed. But why Martha? Was not Mary far more deserving, she who “sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak”? Perhaps. But this tells us two things. One, it tells us that God’s grace does not come to us because of anything we do. It comes because of what God does to us. The day that Jesus gently rebukes Martha for her misguided priorities is the day in which Martha is forever changed. One word from the Master is all it takes to make her holy.
But there is something else that Martha’s transformation tells us. After all, we understand that Jesus procures the grace in Martha’s life to change her heart, but she had not exactly come to Him asking for it. She had come with a “do-something-about-Mary” request. Which tells us that someone else must have been praying for Martha’s heart. But who? Who could have been praying for her with such ardency that Martha should end up announcing the greatest proclamation that ever was?
Scripture does not reveal this information to us—but we can certainly speculate. We can imagine that it would have been Mary, her sister, who had been sitting at the feet of the Lord, soaking in His every word about prayer and forgiveness and mercy and love and peace, who would have wanted nothing more than for her anxious, angry sister to have those same things too. Mary could have harbored a grudge against her sister and withheld those prayers—but she did not. Why? Because the love of God would have filled her heart to overflowing . . . all because Mary remained with the Lord.
Author’s Note: Excerpt from: The Safe Haven: Scriptural Reflections for the Heart and Home (Ordinary Time Weeks 15-21). To purchase, visit Amazon or The Catholic Company, where all other volumes currently in print are also available.
Photo by tabitha turner on Unsplash
