Healing through Curiosity and Compassion – Catholic World Report

Lillian Henricks, PsyD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in Littleton, CO, who also works remotely with residents in PsyPact member states. Before studying psychology, she served as a lay missionary in Ireland and Slovakia. The following live interview was edited later for clarity.

There seems to be a new emphasis on mental health, even within the Church. Why do you think this is so?

Henricks: I think that the main reason for an increasing emphasis is because we are human, and because Catholics suffer with mental illness or have loved ones who do. When we cannot always access the fullness of healing solely through prayer and the sacraments, we turn to the natural realm. Thankfully, there has been significant focus on decreasing the stigma associated with mental health and seeking parity in mental health care.

Catholics are also becoming more open to psychology and other mental health disciplines. With reason, our Catholic faith and psychology have been perceived as at odds in the past. While there is still some basis for this tension, there is an exciting exercise in integration taking place that is enriching both the mental health field and the Church. I attribute this in part to institutions such as Divine Mercy University, a graduate program integrating psychology with theology and philosophy, and apostolates such as Souls and Hearts, founded by psychologists to promote human formation in the context of Catholic Christian anthropology.

The integration of our faith with philosophy and the natural sciences is a very welcome development. The Church has a lot to offer mental health services, and it is good to see a concerted effort to bring faith into healing the whole person.

Are there any areas in which you think the Church needs healing? And if so, how might counselors help?

Henricks: The Church, the Body of Christ, needs healing on a number of levels. Divisions within the Church come readily to mind, and I see great potential for healing in the natural realm through more curiosity and compassion. A stance of curiosity and compassion toward ourselves can be a great template to then direct outwards to others. Counselors can help lead us in inquiry into how our own personal history and wounds inform our perspectives and how we engage with others. From more self-awareness comes space to be less judgmental and more understanding.

As an illustration of what is possible when we lead with curiosity toward others, I love the portrayal of Christ and the Samaritan woman in The Chosen. Jesus transcended the bias of his culture and time, and he had a perfect human nature, unhindered by wounds that most of us sustain to one degree or another. He saw and understood the Samaritan woman from a perspective free of the constraint of unhelpful judgment and reaction, and she felt seen and understood.

We are not Christ, but our own healing helps us to reflect him more fully; it allows us to start from a place of curiosity about each person’s story. And, of significance, Jesus’ approach to the Samaritan woman healed her heart in a way that likely contributed to healing within the Samaritan community and between the Samaritans and Jews.

I see a parallel opportunity for our healing as individual Catholics to impact healing within the Church and the world.

If, as individuals, we want to help foster this healing, how might we help?

Henricks: I would like to continue emphasizing that our own personal healing is a primary way to foster healing in the Church. The Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy model has been significant for my own healing and growth, and so I will speak more about that in particular below. I often think with gratitude that practicing IFS has made me a better Catholic, enhancing my capacity to love myself and others more authentically, and to exercise more curiosity and compassion toward myself and others. A deepened capacity to love myself in a well-ordered way is better positioning me to love others in well-ordered ways. This involves navigating the delicate balance of meeting my own essential needs and the needs of others, and to safeguard against the extremes that can breed guilt or resentment. This can lead to confidence in enacting healthy boundaries that can enhance communion with others.

When we are more recollected and more authentically loving ourselves, others, and God, our very presence is a healing force within all of our communities: marriages and families, schools, work, the Church, and the global community. This capacity to be with oneself and with others in authentically loving ways brings substantial safety to these communities that have all sustained traumas to some degree or another. In this way, we foster healing through relationships.

Often, we underestimate the gift of our being. It helps to remember that our ultimate vocation is eternally being in relationship with the Trinity, and that the Trinity is the best model for us to live our earthly lives in relationship with others. We can be healing agents through the gift of slowing down and being with one another, without a particular agenda coming from our own unmet needs. Most crucially, Trinitarian life is where we receive God’s love as the source of any and all capacity that we have to love ourselves and others. Because this foundational capacity to receive God’s love can be messy and challenging, given skewed God images derived from our own ruptured attachments and wounds, counselors can support Catholics in healing on a natural level that can allow for greater union with God.

When we do our own healing work, we build up the body of Christ and contribute peace and calmness, openness and creativity, and the courage to be vulnerable. Vulnerability in relationships is crucial; entering into relationships with vulnerability allows for more authenticity and more freedom. Vulnerability can be risky, however, and so it is important to walk this path with the necessary safety. Psychotherapeutic models such as IFS can support this process. Similarly, when we are in a position to be authentically who God created us to be, it makes it easier for others to truly be who they are. What a gift.

How do you integrate faith into the counseling process with your Christian clients?

Henricks: The starting point is that I have the perspective of every person as created in the image and likeness of God, and everything that that entails; that is probably the most fundamental way that I integrate faith into my practice. My training in theology and philosophy enhances my psychological training, and I think that is a value to all of my clients, whether they are Catholic or not. Additionally, I feel free to make explicit references to the faith with those who want this to be part of the therapeutic process. I pray with clients before the session at their request.

Overall, faith integration is more implicit than explicit in my practice. Fundamentally, it is the knowledge from our Catholic-Christian anthropology of who we are and to what we are called that informs my work and provides the firm foundation of hope. It is the knowledge that we exist to be loved and to love, and so the question is: How can we work in the therapeutic process to remove the constraints to love? The work that I do is not dependent on an individual’s desire to incorporate the faith, because I am working at the level of his or her human nature. At the same time, I know that the work I do with clients in the natural realm is necessary but not sufficient; I help pave the way for spiritual growth without explicit focus on it.

Is there anything that you would recommend that we do as individuals or Catholics to pursue healing?

Henricks: There’s a concept in psychology called spiritual bypassing, where people use the spiritual to ignore psychological or emotional issues and wounds. With this in mind, my recommendation is openness to exploring what areas in my life might benefit from me turning toward them. The temporary discomfort can be managed safely and gently with the help of a therapist or other resources, and the long-term benefit can far outweigh the burden of pain or frustration that is left unattended. Feeling stuck in some area or struggling with ongoing interpersonal difficulties might be a good indicator of a need for more focused attention. We don’t turn inward to stay there, but to free up energy and the capacity to authentically love, which is always life-giving for self and others.

Beyond the over-spiritualization that you mentioned, is there anything else you’d recommend avoiding when seeking healing?

Henricks: I would try to avoid closing oneself off, out of fear, to persons and resources that are not explicitly Catholic, remembering that we are human first, and that we are united to one another in our humanity; there is a wealth of knowledge and experience available to us for healing. We might be afraid of going outside of our comfort zones, relative to what feels comfortable in our practices as conservative or orthodox Catholics. I get that. It helps me to remember that we are taught by spiritual masters in our Catholic tradition that everything is grace, and that there can be grace in everything.

Without putting aside prudence, my recommendation is to avoid being unnecessarily closed, which ties back to and makes it easier to be curious, because God can work in ways and areas that we could never expect. As Scripture says, “Perfect love casts out all fear” (1 John 4:18). We should not accept everything hook, line, and sinker, and we must be careful, but things are usually not all or nothing and black or white, and an openness to common seeds of truth can serve us and serve unity.

Are there any resources or practices you’ve found particularly helpful in your healing journey?

Henricks: I have already noted, but it is worth emphasizing, that IFS has been particularly helpful to me both personally and professionally. IFS is a mode of therapy based on the idea that each of us has an inmost self, and that we also have a variety of “parts” within us that are integrated with our inmost self to greater or lesser degrees.

These parts (that can be understood as isolated neural networks) have often taken on extreme beliefs, feelings, and behaviors from early ages to adapt to difficult situations in our lives. IFS therapy promotes connection between our innermost self and our parts, many of which are frozen in time. The connection allows for updating and healing and leads to more balanced, healthier beliefs and behaviors. Many readers may be aware of attachment theory in psychology. IFS is often described as attachment theory taken within the individual, where our inmost self is understood as the secure base for our parts. IFS can be an incredibly fruitful practice, and I am privileged to accompany others in it.

One specific resource is the book Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety Throught Healing our Parts by Dr. Gerry Crete, cofounder of Souls and Hearts, which explains IFS from a Catholic perspective.

Much of what I have expressed in this interview is informed by the other co-founder of Souls and Hearts, Dr. Peter Malinoski. He has mined psychological, philosophical, and theological resources at the service of integrating IFS with the Catholic understanding of the human person; his explicit goal is the human formation of Catholics. At SoulsandHearts.com you can find podcasts and weekly reflections on all things psychological and Catholic through an IFS lens. You can also learn about formation communities that are doing the healing and growth work that I emphasize in this interview. My membership in each of the communities has been incredibly fruitful in expanding my capacity to love. I highly recommend them to anyone seeking healing.

(Editor’s note: This interview was posted originally on the “What We Need Now” site in slightly different form and is posted here with kind permission.)