A 1968 book, entitled The Power of Love, inscribes on its cover a provocative sentence: “If one loves, everything is easy; if one does not—everything is hard.” The author is the now Venerable Fulton J. Sheen.
The modern critic would not be pleased with this sentence. He would fault it for being a sweeping generalization that simply is not true. Love does not make everything easy, nor does its absence make everything hard. He would accuse the book publisher of pandering to readers who are easily taken in by statements that are too simplistic to believe. He would banish the bishop’s words to a time when people were prone to accept pious piffle.
But our critic would miss the point. Sheen has a poetic side to him and often allows himself a poetic license. His point should not be missed, and it is one that the current world should take seriously. If we were to make his words more prosaic and out of the reach of critics, we could say the following: Love makes it easier to do certain things, whereas its absence often makes these very same things hard to do. Now that is a boring statement and would not warrant appearing on a book cover.
Can a person live without love? If love eludes him, happiness also eludes him. He then grumbles about life, humanity, and his sorry state of affairs. “So deeply is love grounded in the nature of man,” writes Søren Kierkegaard in Works of Love, “so essentially does it belong to man.” We cannot truly be ourselves without love. Although we were born to love, we find it easier to deceive ourselves than activate the love that exists within.
The word “housewife” has become a term of opprobrium. It is often associated with confinement, drudgery, even slavery. This negative attitude is understandable. Housework, the supreme duty of the housewife, is, as a matter of fact, hard. Yet it must be done. But why would anyone do it? There must be an endless number of occupations that are more satisfying, more enjoyable, and more delightful. The simple answer is love. When we leave love out of the equation, housework is, to say the least, unattractive. But housewives do housework out of love, not because they love this unheralded and repetitive activity, but because they love their family. As a French philosopher once said, “Love makes obedience lighter than liberty.” With love, a chore is no longer a bore.
There are two qualities inherent in love that are worth reiterating. They are qualities that often go unnoticed. Yet they are essential to love and give it what is needed to conquer the difficult things in life.
The first is that love is a source of light. Love is far from being blind. One might say that about lust. But love is an eye-opener. It sees what others miss. According to an old Latin axiom, Ubi amor, ibi oculus (“where there is love, there is attentiveness”). The phrase is attributed to Richard of St. Victor, who lived nine centuries ago. The word oculus has been translated as knowledge. The phrase itself appears in a more literal form as: “Where there is love, the eye is there as well.”
Love illuminates. The lover sees more in the beloved so that he can love more fully. “What is life when wanting love?” asks Robert Burns. It is “Night without morning.” On the other hand, he writes, “Love’s the cloudless summer sun, Nature gay adorning.” For Robert Browning, “Take away love and our earth is a tomb.” Love is daybreak. According to the French poet, Alphonse de Lamartine, L’amour forme aurore enchanté to toute existence (“Love forms the enchanted daybreak of every life”).
The second quality of love is that it is a source of energy. The experience of love can trigger the release of neurochemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenalin which increase motivation and heighten energy levels. It is, to use a fashionable term, “empowering.” The aphorism, “Love conquers all” (Amor omnia vincit) suggests the power of love. The energy that love provides enables us to do things that we ordinarily would not want to do or are unable to do. Love allows us to outdo ourselves.
A person in love feels the increased energy that his love produces. While love increases his energy, it also decreases his lethargy. Reduced activity in the frontal cortex reduces negative emotions and judgments. Data has been gathered from psychology, sociology, medicine, epidemiology, and healing, all indicating that love energy has a positive effect on health. Love makes the world go round; it is the essential attribute of God. Little wonder that love is both a source of illumination as well as a source of energy.
For those who are not in love, it is understandable that they would take a dim view of housework, to take but one example. The mind can imagine activities without putting love in the picture. In this regard, they are a bit shortsighted and underestimate the power that love can provide. We read about how a mother who is a non-swimmer jumps into the water and saves her child from drowning. Love, in such cases, provides more energy than one realized she had, and at the same time, elevated her concern for the life of her child above her concern for her own safety.
Love is greater than what we may think. But we should remember, when assessing activities, not to leave love out of the equation.
Photo by Aldebaran S on Unsplash
