A couple Saturdays ago, I slowly got out of bed at 9:00 am. I was utterly exhausted. I could have slept for a few more hours. This is not normal for me. I am usually up every day between 5:30-6:30 am. It felt like the non-stop intensity of the past few months of family life, ministry, my father’s death, spiritual warfare issues, and other situations finally led to my physical collapse. As I sat in silence, I heard deep within me: “Come away with Me to a lonely place.” I got the sense that the Lord was telling me to shut off everything that is non-essential, especially my smartphone, laptop, and unnecessary tasks, in order to spiritually recover.
The Gospel reference the Holy Spirit guided me to in prayer is from chapter 6 of Mark’s Gospel. The Apostles had been out proclaiming the Kingdom of God, healing the sick, exorcizing demons, teaching, and going from town-to-town. Upon their return we hear:
The apostles gathered together with Jesus and reported all they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” People were coming and going in great numbers, and they had no opportunity even to eat. So they went off in the boat by themselves to a deserted place. (Mk. 6:30-32)
We can imagine the immense excitement, joy, and wonder of the Apostles after all they had seen and done through Christ’s power. Even so, the Lord sees deeper into their needs. He knows that in our human weakness we need to step away from the crowds to spiritually recuperate through prayerful intimacy alone with the Most Holy Trinity. The “lonely place” the Lord called me to was dedicated time alone with Him and to remove distractions in order to find better rest.
I have witnessed great marvels in the past six months. I started in a ministry that is a total uphill climb. I walked the Way of the Cross with my dad in his final six days on this earth and witnessed the beauty of a good and holy death. I saw multiple students grow in their faith when Our Blessed Mother got ahold of them. I was blessed to have multiple students ask me about religious life and the priesthood in an age when most young people aren’t interested or are ignorant of their vocation. I met with multiple students of various faith backgrounds who are searching for something more.
I dealt with spiritual forces of immense darkness while witnessing the love and mercy of the Lord who wants to deliver and heal. I watched a spiritual son be ordained to the priesthood. I spent a week in intense work helping my aunt with manual labor on her farm—the same aunt (my dad’s sister) who had been with me when my dad passed. Everything has been non-stop. The last few months have been some of the hardest of my life, and they have been intermingled with intense sorrow and joy. Slower moments are when I am reminded that I am still in the throes of grief from my dad’s death.
Despite all the victories and losses in our lives, the Lord knows it is essential that we take a step back to a deserted place. He knows that if we are not careful, we will utterly collapse in burnout, even when we believe we are in the greatest of heights. It is non-negotiable for us to heed His words when He tells us it is time to step away from the crowds.
In Mark’s Gospel, the Apostles are obedient to this invitation from the Lord. They set out by boat to a deserted place. We must learn how to do the same in a culture that never slows down. One of the reasons our efforts in ministry fail or are not fruitful enough is because we do not step away to the lonely and deserted places in order to enter into deeper intimacy with the Lord. The most obvious place being in front of the Tabernacle or our exposed Lord at Adoration.
Burnout is a very real problem for all of us. We can convince ourselves that we must keep going. We tell ourselves that everyone is relying on us. We take the weight of it all upon our shoulders. This is a diabolical ploy that masks hidden pride. Our families, ministries, jobs, and other responsibilities are not solely up to us. Ultimately, it all belongs to the Lord. We need to set aside those burdens in order to grow in deeper relationship with Him. We have to set all the noise, worries, responsibilities, and tasks at the foot of the Cross and give everything to Him.
I am off ministry for the month of July. I was also off in June, but the entire month was filled with intense situations and needs that meant it was not restful. For this month, I am resolving to set aside everything that isn’t essential. I am putting my smartphone in my dresser for most of the day. My laptop will only be used to write and for essential tasks. I am focusing on spending as much time as possible in Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament and entrusting all those people He has given to me to Him. They are all His.
I need to do this because, as the next part of Mark’s Gospel—the Multiplication of the Loaves—tells us, the Lord stepped foot off the boat and was immediately “taken up by the needs of the crowd.” The crowds saw where Jesus and the Apostles were heading by boat. They met them on the shoreline at the deserted place where they meant to take their rest.
I know “the needs of the crowd” will return very soon. It could be tomorrow, but when the Lord issues the invitation to go to a deserted or lonely place, it is important to pay heed. He sees what our souls need. He knows how tired we are even when we are marveling and rejoicing at all He is doing. May we all recognize when He is calling us away to a lonely place to rest solely in Him.
Photo by Angelina Kichukova on Unsplash
