One of the number one questions I get asked is where to find a spiritual director. Despite the difficulty (for laity and clergy alike) due to a shortage of spiritual directors, the Lord provides for His people. Multiple books have been written, for example, offering spiritual wisdom and guidance to help readers grow in holiness. Rob Marco’s Coached by Philip Neri is one such book.
The saints are varied in temperament, gifts, style, spirituality, and experience. If we ask the Lord to provide saints along the way to help us, He will. St. Philip Neri is a saintly guide—or in Marco’s parlance a “coach”—on how to live authentic Christian joy, humility, service, love, humor, and prayer. His deep prayer life allowed him to draw from the wellsprings of Living Water that opened him to do whatever was necessary in order to save souls.
The Importance of Joy and Its Cultivation
In an age of polarization in the Church fueled by social media, we can forget that as Christians we are meant to be joyful. The spiritual life is not first and foremost about battling out apologetics with others—although this serves its place; it is about living the Gospel fully in our own lives in order to draw others to Christ.
The secret to Christian joy lies in intimacy with the Lord in prayer and the sacraments. St. Philip Neri’s natural charisma was nourished through deep prayer. We cannot give what we ourselves do not possess. As Marco writes, regarding St. Philip Neris’ prayer life:
He was very much at home in the world of his day, while in imitation of our Lord he often “withdrew . . . to a lonely place apart” (Mt. 14:13), consistently visiting various churches and cloisters to pray earnestly and quietly.
However, if joy is to slake its thirst and bubble over in order to wet the parched throats of the townspeople as well, you must draw from the perpetual wellspring of Love in secret, as our Lord said: “When you pray, go into your room and shut the door” (Mt. 6:6). Joy’s foundation was laid with the native stones of agreeableness and gaiety in Philip, but these natural attributes are not enduring enough to make a saint.
Holiness cannot be attained without a deep prayer life. We must be drawing from the deep springs of grace from and intimacy with the Lord in order to reach the souls entrusted to our care. As I have written many times before, the lack of prayer found too often within the Church is one of the primary reasons our ministries and endeavors fail to produce abundant fruit. St. Philip Neri knew that his own natural gifts would not be enough to reach lost souls. He needed to be watered ceaselessly in order to reach into the deserts in people’s lives.
Prayer and joy are directly linked. St. Philip Neri was a profoundly joyful man. He radiated the light of Christ. It is true that our capacity for joy varies from person to person, and each individual within the Mystical Body has a particular role to play. As Marco points out, not everyone will be called to the level of joy St. Philip Neri was. There is a seriousness in some saints that is united to joy in a manner not nearly as apparent, but that still attracts souls.
In order to live the Christian joy each one of us is called to we must cultivate the soil of our souls through prayer and a desire to grow in deeper joy. The Lord will fill us to the brim in order to achieve the mission He has given to each one of us. As Marco explains:
Remember—grace builds on nature; it does not replace it. If you are not a naturally joyful person, that may be a characteristic of your temperament, not a defect of character. But that does not mean we cannot cultivate latent seeds of joy in our hearts to the degree God ordains, seeds which are coaxed into unfurling by sunlight, moisture, and rich soil—none of which we can replicate by human means alone. It is the soil, not the seed, that we are called to build up. The only way to do that is through prayer. In this way, St. Philip can be imitated, for we can all withdraw to places set apart from time to time in order to dig our own wells.
This is an important reminder as we make spiritual progress. We are not expected to be someone else. The Lord has made us with a specific temperament, capacity for certain graces and gifts, and mission. In the spiritual direction different saints offer to us through their works and example, we should seek to live as Christ is calling each one of us, not turn ourselves into a clone of someone else. Some of the most joyful people I have met are extremely quiet and hidden. It is radiant light emanating from them that attracts others, not boisterous or demonstrative forms of joy (though both are necessary in building up the Kingdom of God).
The Uncompromising Humility Needed for Charity
The joy and love that St. Philip Neri fostered through the supernatural graces given to him in deep prayer led him to be a man who was willing to do any task for souls. One of the dangers of hidden forms of pride is when we believe certain tasks are beneath us. I can remember being deeply moved when I saw a priest walking out of the sacristy bathroom he had just cleaned. This left a deep impression on me because it was clear that he understood the same wisdom as St. Philip Neri. I needed this priest’s witness to remind me there is no task that is beneath me. It is simply my own unwillingness and pride that gets in the way. Marco describes St. Philip Neri’s openness to all people and tasks:
It was known that Philip had an ardent love of charity and so would frequently visit the sick in hospitals—sweeping floors, feeding and washing patients, and making sure they received the sacraments. He would also visit with beggars and idlers on the streets, as well as warehouse workers and others employed in the city and seek to lead them to greater virtue.
It was said of St. Philip Neri that “nothing was too high for him, nothing too low.” This is true humility and charity. If we examine ourselves carefully, we will see areas of our lives where we falsely believe something is too high or too low for us. If St. Philip Neri was our spiritual director, he would tell us to do all the Lord and others ask of us and not spend time worrying about it. We are simply called to be available in all the Lord asks.
Humor Rightly Ordered
Since St. Philip Neri was a man of humility and joy, he was also able to draw others in through his humor. He was not seeking to be a court jester, but rather, in his willingness not to take himself or others too seriously, he was able to employ humor in order to evangelize souls. He also did not use humor like a knife, as we so often fall into through sarcasm that comes forth from latent bitterness or resentment. Instead, St. Philip Neri sought to help others laugh for the sake of the Kingdom of God, even when some things he did may have seemed over the top. Marco writes:
But for Philip, humor was not laughter for its own sake but always for divine and human purposes alike, a strand in his net for catching souls . . .
For laughter and wit to be employed in the school of virtue, you must first possess such virtue as a prerequisite, lest you be considered simply a buffoon or a jokester. Philip had the necessary “street cred” as a holy and genuinely spiritual man, so that his joking and laughter were used to grease the skids of grace and bring others to conversion.
Living a life of virtue allowed St. Philip Neri to utilize humor and laughter in a manner that won souls for Christ. Many evangelical efforts fail when they entertain for the sake of entertainment, lacking the virtue and drive to actually evangelize. Our role in ministering to others is to lead them to Christ, not simply entertain. St. Philip Neri reminds us of what the gift of humor is really meant for.
There is much more spiritual wisdom that can be gleaned from the example of St. Philip Neri. Marco’s book is a timely option for the countless Catholics in search of a spiritual director. If we are unable to find an actual spiritual director, remember: the Lord provides the guidance and wisdom we need through His saints. May St. Philip Neri’s example lead us to greater holiness and help us in our call to bring souls to Christ.
Image from Wikimedia Commons
