One of my students told me a story about a project he did for his ethics class last year. He brought out a crucifix, placed it in front of the class, and talked about our call to forgive. He shared how Jesus forgives us of everything we do when we turn to Him, so we are required to forgive those who hurt us. The response from the students was passionate and intense wrath. They couldn’t imagine forgiving the people who had hurt them. They didn’t believe they had an obligation to forgive, believing instead that they had a right to demand punishment. The lesson of the cross and the call to forgiveness was totally lost on his interlocutors.
This is the state of our culture. One of the most prominent and obvious symbols of our age that demonstrates these students’ sentiments is the closed strong-arm fist. Symbols matter because they tell us about deeper realities. In many ways this symbol is the antithesis of Christ Crucified. He opened His palms willingly out of love for us. He accepted the nails and was pierced for our transgressions. He reveals to us on the Cross that it is powerlessness in the face of evil and wickedness that so often conquers in the Kingdom of God.
Nihilistic power and dominance are in the very water we drink and air we breathe. Our “superheroes” are not particularly virtuous. They are the ones with more power and do whatever it takes—even if it brings destruction—to win. When young people have been raised on these myths and the power politics of our day, can we be surprised that forgiveness is foreign to them?
We are surrounded by unforgiveness and a culture increasingly devoid of mercy. The impacts of this reality are being felt as vengeance, cancel culture, and greater violence erupt in response to different events. My student uncovered a deeper reality undergirding his generation when he stepped in front of his class to share the forgiveness of Christ. They didn’t want the perceived weakness of Christ Crucified; they want the strong arm of nihilistic power and vengeance.
He tried to reason with them and called them to consider the healing power of forgiveness, but they would not listen. The question of how weakness is better than raw power and vengeance has plagued mankind since the fall. These students wanted no part in it and could not be convinced that they had any obligation to forgive those who had hurt them. This will not bode well in the future as vengeance becomes the order of the day.
Forgiveness of those who harm us is a non-negotiable for disciples of Christ. It is the hardest of all His commands to us. How can it be that we must forgive those who abuse, abandon, reject, or persecute us? When we view this question within the framework of the eyes of faith, we see how this must be the way if we want to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The Lord Himself has forgiven us for our transgressions. Each one of us caused His death on the Cross. Our sins are no less scarlet than those who hurt us.
On an even deeper level, it becomes clear that forgiveness leads to true freedom. The closest I have ever felt to hell was when I was battling wrath and unforgiveness against different people. It does not overlook the pain they caused me or the sins committed. But the strong arm and closed fist are the path to slavery, not freedom. Unforgiveness leaves us locked in a cycle of wrath, hatred, and bitterness. We cling—closed fist—at retribution, or in most cases, vengeance.
While justice is a virtue, and ought to be sought after, it is often not possible in a fallen world. This is why the Lord shows us through His crucifixion the path to mercy as the solution to our desire for vengeance. Justice ultimately belongs to God, and no one will be spared from His judgment. To forgive we must relinquish our desire for control and satisfaction and entrust others to God’s mercy and judgment. In a very real sense, we must surrender to the Cross. We must open our palms and allow the nails to penetrate our flesh in order to forgive the offenses others commit against us.
The Cross is true freedom. It is the relinquishment of self and loving surrender to the Lord who loves us. When we forgive, we free ourselves and the other person. Often, when we are willing to forgive others, we discover that reconciliation is easier. Someone has to put their raised fist down in order for peace and healing to take place. As long as people are locked in a battle of wills and vengeance, conflicts will continue.
True power is won in forgiveness. It supplies the strength and peace that surpasses all understanding. Those trapped in wrath and hatred are powerless against the love and mercy given to them by a forgiving person. Their flaming arrows become useless and fall to the ground when they come into contact with the love and mercy of Christ flowing through each one of us.
It is not easy to forgive, and it is a gift of grace to be able to do so, but the truth of the matter is: we are required to forgive. The Lord tells us we will be forgiven in the measure we forgive. In last week’s parable of the king taking account of his servants in Matthew 18, He goes so far as to say that, if we do not forgive, we will be cast into the hellfire. Why? It is forgiveness that is divine, not vengeance and hatred. A soul marred by unforgiveness is already being dragged towards hell by demons in this life, which means turning away from the Lord and in on themselves in darkness. We cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven in this state. It is impossible.
Our culture is in desperate need of our Christlike witness to forgiveness. If we are to be peacemakers–as we are called to through the Beatitudes–then we must pray for the grace to forgive and wage the battle to relinquish our desire for vengeance—and even justice—on those who have hurt us. It doesn’t mean we allow them to continue abusing us—reconciliation may be impossible in some cases—but it does mean we have to let them go and open ourselves to be crucified spiritually with Christ. Forgiveness is a crucifixion of our own desires and ego. It leads us to love like Christ.
If it is difficult to forgive right now, pray these words from Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalene, O.C.D. and then trust that the Lord will give you the necessary graces to do so:
In order to obtain forgiveness, I shall forgive; I shall pardon others, and I shall be pardoned. Because I wish to receive, I shall give, and it shall be given to me.
If it is hard for me to forgive someone who has offended me, I shall have recourse to prayer. Instead of repaying insults with more insults, I shall pray for the guilty one. When I feel like giving him a harsh answer, I shall speak to You, O Lord, in his favor. Then I shall remember that you promise eternal life, but You command us to forgive others. It is as if You said to me, “You who are a man, forgive other men, so that I, who am God can come to you” (St. Augustine).
