Being Catholic isn’t about “ticking the boxes.” It’s about living out our calling to love. This means walking in others’ shoes, entering into empathy, not just sympathy, and bearing suffering well. Only under the weight of the cross will our witness of faith bear fruit.
In the Gospel of St. Matthew, Jesus tells us something we should reflect on deeply:
Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord,” will enter the Kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.
As Catholics are we just “ticking the boxes”? Do we worship God from our heart? Do we see Jesus in others and respond in kind?
Mother Teresa gives us good insight into remedying this potential problem: “It’s not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing.”
It’s very easy to get caught up in your checklist, to do things without thinking about them, to look right through the people in front of you, to say words with no meaning. But being Catholic isn’t just a label—it’s a lived experience, a continual choosing of God’s will, of virtue, of right over wrong, and of love.
We were placed here on earth by God, in this time, and among the people in our lives—with intention! We are called to holiness in the circumstances in which we live. Therefore, we must walk among men; we must feel what they feel; we must struggle as they struggle. This kind of lived experience breeds empathy . . . which is very different from sympathy.
Empathy is understanding others because you, too, lived it. This was the example of Jesus: He lived and walked among men. St. Paul breaks it down the best:
Though he was in the form of God, he did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.
This is why Pope Francis said: “A shepherd should smell like the sheep.” This is what servant leadership looks like. But no one wants to do this because no one wants to suffer; yet, it’s through suffering that we grow in empathy towards others. And then our words actually mean something—and by the grace of God they might have a positive impact on others’ lives.
By this practice of empathy, we remedy our mechanized living of our Catholic Faith and break out of the “ticking-the-boxes” mentality.
Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him and we will come to him.
Having a big family helps one to be detached from the world. Why? Because having many kids is “messy.” Everything gets broken. Money is tight. The word “no” means no. You don’t have a “perfect” house. You don’t go on “perfect” vacations. You won’t retire with a view of the ocean. You won’t drive the car you want . . . And all these things serve a greater purpose: they help us understand the very people we are to serve!
We were put on this earth to serve others. But in order to do that properly, and not just “tick the boxes,” we must feel what the people we serve feel.
A journalist asked Mother Teresa, towards the end of her life, if she thought her religious order would continue after her death. She responded: “If the sisters do two things, the Missionaries of Charity will continue to thrive. The first, keep the Blessed Sacrament the center of their life . . . And the second, that the sisters live in poverty.”
No one wants to hear such a statement because no one wants to do what Mother Teresa just said. But how could the sisters effectively serve the poor if they do not live like them? Because the Missionaries of Charity do just what Mother Teresa said to do, their witness is powerful! The Gospel is lived out and seen by the world—no words necessary.
If I was to give advice to bishops, I would humbly tell them that this is the example our clergy must give, for “a shepherd should smell like the sheep.” But that advice must go further. Catholic families must also live it. Now that doesn’t mean we are to live in dire poverty, but it does mean we are to live simply—to meet the needs of our families, and not necessarily their wants. This kind of living breeds character. It instills empathy towards others in our children. This kind of living also gives a powerful witness to the world. Our world does not need another “lecture”—it needs witnesses. In order to give that witness, we must embrace the cross. There is no other way!
Visit me with your saving help, that I may see the prosperity of your chosen ones, rejoice in the joy of your people, and glory with your inheritance.
We are reminded to “keep it real”—people use that phrase a lot in America. Well, in order to “keep it real,” we must not only know about Jesus Christ, we must strive to live like Him. This model of living goes against everything we have been taught in America. But to live as a Catholic means we are to be different. We are to view life as a pilgrimage towards our heavenly destination, our true and only home. And if we want our witness to impact the world, we must bleed the same red blood as the people we live next to and serve.
Don’t just “tick the boxes;” pick up your cross, and then see how it bears fruit.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on the author’s blog, Oh Francesco, on June 26, 2025.
Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash
