Filled with jealousy, [they] laid hands upon the Apostles. (Acts 5:17-18)
Jealousy is one of the most insidious of vices, because much like envy, there is absolutely no satisfaction in it. Each moment is spent in rumination, infuriation, plotting, planning, suspicion. And that is just what goes on within one’s brain. What comes out of one’s mouth is a continual effort to tear down, manipulate circumstances, negotiate outcomes. If there is any satisfaction at all in a successful maneuver to steer things one’s way, it is a satisfaction that is both temporary as well as tinged with an underlying discontent that one cannot quite explain.
Perhaps we have all experienced moments in our lives, to a greater or lesser degree, where jealousy has reared its ugly tentacles into our psyche. Sibling rivalries, competitive popularity contests at school, in-law issues . . . even jealousies experienced within Church leadership. It is normal to be tempted to be jealous from time to time; we are not robots, and it feels good to be noticed, to be the “best.” In fact, without Christ to tell us that “whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave” (Mt. 20:26-27), our lives might be one continuous struggle for that number one place without ever a thought to restraint! The temptation to jealousy is not the problem. The temptation itself does not define us; in fact, if we work against it, it will enable us to paradoxically grow in humility. Rather, the problem lies in our feeding the temptation by not recognizing it for what it is; then justifying it; and finally, succumbing to it. When that happens, we cause untold damage to our own lives and to the lives of others.
But what about if we ourselves are the recipient of someone else’s jealousy? How are we to respond to their actions towards us? Let’s look at the behavior of the Apostles who were the victim of the jealousy of others to gain some insight into the answer to this question:
[The Sadducees] put them in the public jail.
Scripture does not give us much of a description of what that night spent in jail must have been like for the Apostles, but if I were doing the Lord’s will, and things ended up for me as it did for them, I might have been wondering if I had misinterpreted what I had thought the Lord wanted me to do. Granted, one night in jail is not very much, but on the other hand, when a sudden trial comes upon us, our minds don’t usually go straight to “Everything is going to be okay.” There is the period of shock, the thoughts of “What if” and “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.” But unlike what I might be imagining while sitting in that jail, the Apostles would have given no thought as to what would happen next. As a matter of fact, they would not have lost their peace at all. Why? Because they were filled with the Holy Spirit.
They did not have to wonder if things would turn out okay, because they already knew that things would—no matter what the outcome meant for them personally. This is what true, abiding trust looks like. We can scarcely imagine it! Oh, we understand having some trust. Perhaps we can say in all honesty that we have a lot of trust. But complete trust? Suffice it to say we are a work in progress, and we yearn to receive that same gift which the Apostles did by way of their perseverance. Come, Holy Spirit.
So what would the Apostles, filled with the Holy Spirit, have been doing in that jail as they awaited what would happen next?
I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall be ever in my mouth.
We imagine that they would have been singing. How do we know this? Because it is precisely what the Apostles Paul and Silas would later do in their own imprisonment, they who were also filled with the Holy Spirit:
After inflicting many blows on them, they threw them into prison . . . About midnight, while Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God as the prisoners listened . . . (Acts 16: 23-25)
The Apostles would have lifted the spirits of anyone else who may have been imprisoned with them. What does this tell us? It tells us that regardless of whether what we are enduring is an act of nature in which no one is to blame, or an act of man where there is a very definite person to blame (as in the case of an act perpetrated out of jealousy), we must look not to the cause in order to explain our circumstances, but rather, to the One who allowed these circumstances.
The Apostles were able to keep their peace and their joy throughout their trying circumstances because they viewed the jealous actions of others as within the purview of God’s will. How did they see it so easily? Because they now had the perspective to see that the mistreatment they suffered placed them in the same position as that of Jesus, who suffered a similar mistreatment. And it was their greatest gift and most valued honor. The Apostles would not have been perturbed by the injustice at all. They were likely eager to find out what the Lord had planned for them next! Why can we say this was the case? Because after their arrest, their re-arrest, and their subsequent flogging, what did the Apostles do?
They left the presence of the Sanhedrin, rejoicing that they had been found worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name. (Acts 5:41)
Friends, if we have been treated unfairly or with injustice, it is human nature to lament, to be angry, to be sad, or to cast blame. By human standards, such a reaction would be justified. But let’s not measure our circumstances by human standards. Let’s measure them by the standards of the divine! Divine standard tells us that our “dishonor” means we “have been found worthy” by the Father to be counted among the followers of His son! This is not cause for discouragement; this is cause to rejoice!
Admittedly, it is hard to see things this way in the middle of a trial. It is not until after the trial is over and our trying circumstance is resolved that we generally are able to look back and say, “It is the Lord.” But the Apostles teach us today that we don’t have to wait to be set free from our own individual “prison” before we can see. We can seek the Lord’s hand in our circumstances now. How do we do this? By blessing the Lord at all times, and letting His praise be ever in our mouths! In this way, He will “deliver [us] from all [our] fears . . . and from all [our] distress he [will] save [us]” (Ps. 34:2-7).
Author’s Note: Excerpt from The Safe Haven: Scriptural Reflections for the Heart and Home (Season of Easter). To purchase, visit Amazon or The Catholic Company, where all other volumes currently in print are also available.
Photo by Ehsan Habashi on Unsplash
