It is both a blessing and a responsibility to be a grandfather. It is a blessing because a father has lived long enough to see his children become parents. It is an affirmation of the honor of his own being a father. It is also a responsibility. A grandfather does not retire from his family. He still has a mission. His responsibilities to his grandchildren may not be as demanding as were his responsibilities to his children; nevertheless, there is something important that he can offer to his children’s children. The prefix “grand” honors his stature.
Cardinal Ratzinger (Pope Benedict XVI) often referred to Abraham and Simeon as models for grandfathers, noting that God asks for the contributions of a grandfather’s talents. Age does not remove responsibility. He spoke of the love shared between grandparents and their grandchildren as a “breath of clean air” that refreshes society and makes communities stronger. He referred to the specific role of the grandfather as a “generativity” that serves as a bridge of faith and wisdom for the future.
Like any other noble office, the role of the grandfather has been derided. Thomas Huxley, a dedicated Darwinian, has said that he would not be embarrassed if his grandfather was a monkey. Woody Allen, that master of cynicism, quipped that he was proud of the gold pocket watch he received from his grandfather who sold it to him on his death bed. On a more positive note, the distinguished actor, James Earl Jones, had high praise for his grandfather: “More and more, when I single out the person who inspired me most, I go back to my grandfather.”
Catherine Wiley and her husband are the founders of the Catholic Grandparents Association. She points out the special significance of grandparents at a time when moral and social values are undergoing constant changes. Grandparents can offer some stability and continuity in helping to hand down the Catholic tradition. In this regard, New York’s Cardinal Dolan has stated, “I endorse the Catholic Grandparents Association’s mission of helping grandparents pass on the faith and keeping prayer at the family life.”
I am a philosopher by profession. At the same time, I indulge in writing poetry for all the members of my family. Poetry, if it is composed properly, goes straight to the heart. Consider the difference between philosophy as a means of communication and poetry. Romeo says to Juliet, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” The philosopher would say, “The order of being precedes and is unaffected by the order of naming.” The former is instantly understood, as it must be when delivered in a play. The latter, which “explains” the former requires some time to figure out. Had Romeo spoken philosophically, his romance with Juliet would have come to an abrupt end.
I wrote a poem for our 14th grandchild on the occasion of her first birthday. My eldest son, Ella’s father, recited it for the benefit of the family members who attended the celebration. I think it was grandfatherly in several ways. It underscored the passage of time and the need to take advantage of that opportunity to grow. More specifically, it emphasized the importance of becoming less self-centered and more other-centered. It represents, I venture to say, both a hope and a prayer. Poetically it represents the transition from a “sponge” to a “fountain.” The poem embraces the family and welcomes their prayers. Poetic license permits me to have my granddaughter recite her poem:
To Ella at Age 1
All my life I have been a sponge
Soaking up love every hour of the day;
But now that my age
Is calibrated in numbers,
Now that I have reached
A numerical milestone,
Now that my loved ones
In celebration salute me;
I will become a fountain,
Spraying my love all around,
Cascading a cavalcade
Of smiles and giggles
As I grow
From an eager receptor
To an avid dispenser.
