In the late night hours of Christmas Eve 2005, I sat on the floor of our family room wrapping the last of the Christmas gifts. The house was quiet as my husband and five children lay tucked in beds, fast asleep. When the clock ticked its way past midnight, I whispered a “Merry Christmas” to Jesus, and a single tear fell down my cheek.
A woman of greater holiness than I would have rejoiced in the abundance of blessings that surrounded me that silent, wintry night: a healthy family, a warm home, gifts to wrap, food in the kitchen, and people with whom to celebrate Christ’s Incarnation. Yet, as I sat alone on the floor amidst the boxes and wrapping paper, the party that I hosted at that moment was a pity party for one. By 1AM, with gifts yet to wrap, and food still needing to be prepared for Christmas day, I did not feel celebratory. I felt unnoticed and unappreciated.
A Light in the Darkness
It was then that I saw the light in my neighbor’s window. This beautiful Catholic woman—a mother of seven children, who were similar in ages to my own—and I developed a close friendship over the years as we navigated the challenges of raising a faith-filled family in a crazy culture.
With a glimmer of hope, I sent her a text: “Merry Christmas! Are you still up?”
“Yes,” she responded. “Just finished wrapping the last of the gifts. Now I’m on to make an egg bake for Christmas brunch.”
We exchanged messages for about ten minutes, and in the course of these exchanges my spirits lifted. I realized that I was not alone. Our correspondence also caused me to wonder how many mothers throughout the globe were busy with the same behind-the-scenes preparations that I was making.
The Unapplauded Mother of the King
So much of the work that we do as women and mothers happens behind-the-scenes. Whether we are scrubbing the bathroom floor, or wrapping the gifts when no one is awake, or grocery shopping and preparing holiday meals, or ironing the outfits that the family will wear to Mass, much of the work that we do happens in the background, often unnoticed and underappreciated. Yet, it matters.
This realization caused me to reflect upon Mary. She gave birth to the Savior of the World, yet she and Joseph were alone in a cave with animals. The prophecies of the Old Testament were being fulfilled, and the Mother of Our Lord was literally laboring to bring them to light, all while the world slept, unaware of her efforts and the miracle that was unfolding. No public honors or awards were bestowed at that moment. The Mother of God labored unnoticed. Unlike me, however, she did not do so while having a pity party. Mary labored with profound generosity, love, and hope as she birthed Light into the darkness of the world.
The Purity of Serving
It has been twenty years since that lonely Christmas night. Hindsight sheds much perspective on the blessings that continue to unfold. The reality is that most of our efforts as men and women happen outside of the limelight. Our efforts often go unrecognized and undervalued. But they matter, and they bear fruit—especially when done with integrity, generosity, and love.
My children are now young adults starting families of their own. Each and every day they, like countless others, work hard at their jobs and within their homes at numerous tasks that are overlooked by others. Perhaps this is as it should be.
If all our efforts were noticed and praised, we might perform these tasks for the applause. However, by being unrecognized, we have the opportunity to complete our responsibilities in a spirit of self-sacrifice, self-gift, and love.
The Blessing of Humility
There is a beautiful prayer titled “The Litany of Humility.” In this prayer, we say:
O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, O Jesus. …
From the desire of being honored,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being praised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others,
Deliver me, O Jesus. …
From the desire of being approved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. …
After raising our children and now watching them parent their own, I can better recognize that in fulfilling the unseen tasks of daily life, and doing them to the best of our ability with grace and love, we are doing more than praying this prayer. In fact, we are living it.
Twenty years ago, I discovered how difficult it is to live this prayer, because I did so while feeling sorry for myself. The light in my neighbor’s house, coupled with her heartening messages, pulled me out of my selfish sulking. Our communication also returned to me the joy of serving and the realization of my countless blessings. Our late-night Christmas Eve text messages became a tradition for many years, one that blessed me immensely.
A Gift of Sight
This year, as we approach the silent and holy night of Christ’s birth, perhaps we can gift others by intentionally noticing and appreciating them. Perhaps we (perhaps I) can also give thanks for our own unrecognized efforts, grateful to offer a sacrifice of love and service, confident that God notices, and that’s truly all that matters.
Above all, may we notice the profound blessings that God bestows, blessings that often go overlooked and unappreciated. May we give an abundance of thanks and praise on Christmas Day, and every day that follows. And when the night is dark, and should a feeling of being overburdened and alone descend, look up as I did so many years ago, look up to see the Light.
Photo by S&B Vonlanthen on Unsplash
